


stand by you.

by heyitsbabz



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst and Fluff, F/M, M/M, That's it, Weddings, ambiguous ending, josh admits his feelings, that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 23:13:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10398294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsbabz/pseuds/heyitsbabz
Summary: In which Josh admits his feelings on Tyler's wedding day.





	

“I'm in love with you.”

It’s said so defeatedly, finally getting it out in the open and Josh can't help shifting his gaze away from Tyler’s sure to be judging stare.

They’re in a secluded room, lights bright around them as if to emphasize how angelic Tyler is and mock Josh at the same time. Tyler had been fixing his bowtie in the mirror, fretting over what his bride-to-be would think of it and Josh had lost all self control, his heart pounding against his chest with the need to let him know how he feels before it’s too late.

“I’m in love with you,” Josh repeats, looking up and locking his eyes with Tyler’s. His breath hitches and his cheeks flush at the look on Tyler’s face. “ _God_ , Tyler, I’m _in love_ with you.”

And Josh’s voice cracks, opening the dam for the tears he didn't know he was holding back to spill onto his cheeks.

 _No_ , Josh thinks. _No, no, no, this can't be happening right now._

But it is and when Tyler doesn’t say anything, Josh has to swallow down the sob rising in his throat. He wouldn't be weak, not here. When he gets home, yes, he’ll drink the night away and forget this, this feeling weighing down on his chest, but _not here_.

Not in front of Tyler.

“It’s okay, I know,” Josh takes a shuddering breath, trying to compose himself. “I know you love Jenna, I do. And I'm happy you two found each other and—and make each other feel—”

“How long?” Tyler cuts him off.

Josh ignores the pang in his chest again, the feeling becoming so constant and so natural, the persistent nag at the back of his head never dulling even now.

“What?” Josh replies quietly, eyes meeting the floor.

“Don't play with me, Dun,” Tyler snaps, hand suddenly pressing down on his shoulder and shocking a gasp out of Josh. “ _How long?_ ”

Josh’s tears burn on his cheeks, “For as long as I can remember. Since the day we met, maybe.”

“Jesus.” Tyler whispers, dropping his hand. “Jesus, Josh, why didn't you say anything?”

“I don't know,” Josh admits. “But it doesn't matter, because you’re getting married.”

“It does matter!” Tyler raises his voice while tugging at his hair. Josh flinches and Tyler lowers his voice to barely above a whisper. “It matters, Josh. It _matters_.”

It sounds so hurt, so betrayed and sad that Josh instantly regrets saying anything, for admitting this on Tyler’s wedding day, for God’s sake, how could he do this to him?

“Don't do that,” Tyler steps closer to him, reaching a shaking hand up to cup his cheek. “Don’t regret telling me. Please, just.”

Tyler sighs, eyebrows furrowing as though the English language can't quite articulate what he wants to say, like his thoughts were jumbled into so many different sentences and maybe they _were_ , but Josh just sees Tyler.

He sees him when they’re cuddling and watching dumb cat videos on the tour bus or playing super smash bros. He sees them on their late night Taco Bell runs. He sees them holding hands through their bunks because Josh’s anxiety starts acting up. He sees them hugging and crying because sometimes it all gets too much for Tyler, for _him_ and all they can do is find solace in each other. He sees them in gas station bathrooms, joking about how life is always full of surprises.

Life _is_ full of surprises, because Josh never thought he’d fall in love with his best friend. He never thought that one day he’d lose his chance because he couldn't just work up the courage to admit his feelings. He never thought it, not once, that the possibility of Tyler not being entirely his would ever come true, the idea sounding completely absurd to him. And yet... that’s what’s happening.

It’s happening in a few minutes.

In a few minutes, Tyler will be happily married to the love of _his_ life.

And all Josh will be able to do is mourn what could of been and what will never be.

“I’m sorry, Tyler,” Josh chokes out, leaning into Tyler’s hand despite himself. “I’m so sorry.”

Tyler shakes his head, his thumb caressing and running along his cheekbone, wiping away the tears continuously spilling from his eyes. Josh closes his eyes and lets himself relish in this moment, knowing that after this the confession would go and be forgotten, wiped from Tyler’s memory to not ruin their friendship.

 _Brothers_ , Josh thinks bitterly. _Bros for life._

“I’m sorry,” Josh repeats, because it will never be enough, _he_ will never be enough for the boy in front of him.

Tyler smiles sadly before leaning forward and Josh has no idea what’s happening until soft lips are being pressed up against his. It’s far from perfect, Josh’s chapped lips probably feel gross against Tyler’s, the thought of actually kissing him today (or _ever_ ) never actually crossing his mind because it seemed so impractical and the shocked involuntary sound that rips its way out of Josh’s throat surprises even him.

A hand winds itself at the back of Josh’s head, twisting into the red locks at his nape and the hand on Josh’s cheek slips down to his chest, resting just above his heart. Josh parts his lips, wanting nothing more than to deepen the kiss when the realization hits him that this is a pity kiss.

He pulls away abruptly, heaving a breath, the gust of air fanning along Tyler’s face as he licks his lips slowly, tauntingly, waiting for Josh to move in and kiss him again. The distant sound of shouting can be heard outside the room, but they ignore it, eyes focused on each other.

“I don't, I—” Josh shakes his head, stepping away from him and taking a deep breath. “Don't do this to me.”

Tyler considers, two beats passing between them before he speaks. “I love you, too, Josh.”

“What?” Josh’s eyes widen and he doesn't quite believe him.

“I _said_ , I love you, too.”

Josh doesn't want to believe him, he doesn't, but the look on his face suggests he’s being sincere and _real_ with him and it’s too much for him, it’s _too much_.

He brings his hands to his face and lets himself cry. He cries for the loss he’s about to experience for good, his sobs racking through his entire body when he feels Tyler’s arms wind around him, holding him close and keeping him up.

Tyler has always and will always be his rock, the person who grounds him and brings him back to the present whenever he starts to lose himself.

“Why didn't _you_ say anything?” Josh manages to say through his ugly sobs, the weight on his chest magnifying tenfold as he buries his face in Tyler’s neck and breathes in his scent.

“I don't know.” Tyler whispers, so broken and beaten that Josh pulls away to look at him.

Tyler is crying.

The action is so quintessentially _Tyler_ to burst into tears when someone else is crying that Josh can't help but laugh. He laughs and laughs until Tyler joins in and then, as if reminded of their situation, let their laughs die down until all they can do is stare.

Josh has to let him go.

Tyler’s mother peaks her head into the room, announcing that it’s time with a bright smile on her face before turning to leave.

“Well,” He starts off, aiming for cheerful as he claps Tyler on the back. “I guess you better get out there and marry your girl.”

“I guess,” Tyler sniffs.

They both wipe at their eyes and laugh.

Tyler holds out his hand and Josh knows exactly what he wants. They do their handshake, the movements a little stiff and uncoordinated in the suits they’re wearing, but once they have it done it feels like things move into place on their own, like a puzzle piece of two coming together to form the bigger picture.

Josh stands next to Tyler as the priest pronounces Tyler and Jenna husband and wife. He’s next to him when Tyler kisses her with everything in him, the love and adoration he feels for her spilling into the kiss while everyone snaps pictures and cheers around them. He’s next to him when Tyler doesn't want to let go of her and he surprises himself by grinning so wide his face starts hurting.

Josh is standing next to Tyler when he finally turns to him, cheeks flushed and a smile on his lips as they both look at each other with a mutual understanding.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my drafts for months. I think I wanted to add to the ending and never got around to it. 
> 
> Oh well! I hope you enjoyed... whatever this was.


End file.
